10 Years of True Grit: How I Manage Being the Executive Director at a Non-Profit Start Up

by Executive Director Liz Black

My boss is kind of a big deal. He’s started multiple businesses, grew an arts district from the ground up (with a lot of help, of course) and is a recipient of both the John Madden Leadership Award from Colorado Business for the Arts (CBCA) and the Michael Newton Award from Americans for the Arts. But the coolest thing about him is the effort he brings to our relationship to make sure we genuinely work well together. After five years of sitting at the same table (both figuratively and literally, because we tend to congregate around the same working spaces and no one has an official ‘office’) I’d like to think that we both have a lot of respect and appreciation for one another.

And that just doesn’t happen all of the time. I know I’m really lucky because I started with someone who is confident, kind, rational and genuinely a good leader but at the same time, I know we also put in a lot of commitment every day. Because relationships of any kind take effort, and we’re both willing to bring that determination to the proverbial (and literal) table. He works hard to be a good leader and manager, and I work hard to bring my full self to the other side of the equation. And I’ve learned a few things over the past four years about working collaboratively, passionately and resiliently with your boss to create a solid, healthy working relationship.

1. Ask for what you want, but frame it from how you can help.

I’m currently the Executive Director of one of the fastest growing arts districts in Colorado but I started out as a volunteer. And I didn’t work 30 or 40 hours a week or even a month, in fact I worked about five. That’s it, about five hours per month is really all it takes in many organizations to get your name out there, build rapport with the people you want to work with eventually, and start to showcase your skills and talents to a potential employer.

But eventually, I became so passionate about the organization that I wanted more. So instead of asking for a job or sending in my resume, I sat down with my soon-to-be-boss and told him how I thought I could fill an unmet need (in this case for a blog writer). I showed him where I thought the project had merit and talked to him in detail about what I could provide. And you know what, it worked. I was hired within the week. And I have continued to do this throughout my career. If there’s a panel I want to sit on, a committee I want to be at the table for, or a job I think I’m ready to take on, I ask for it, but in a way that showcases what I can do for the project, instead of what it does for me. I encourage anyone looking for a new job, or just a different role in the same company to be vocal about what they want, but to always frame it in a way that helps your superiors understand how you plan to contribute and what you’ll do to create impact.

2. Create a standing meeting.

Our organization is nimble and lean which means that we have very few people doing a lot of work, and I started to notice that sometimes a week or more would go by without me seeing my boss. Sounds kind of nice, doesn’t it? But if you don’t interact with your superiors regularly it can be difficult to move projects forward, to receive timely feedback or even to have a small laugh about an angry client or a misplaced document. And all of these things are important.

So in the vein of number one (see above), I asked for what I wanted and I framed it from how it would help. I needed a monthly standing meeting to ensure that my boss and I were on the same page about how to take our organization forward. And it’s been great. We both come to the table with a few things we want to talk about (like the Boy Scout motto, always be prepared) but many times we’ll end these sessions just riffing on our dreams for the organization and what the years ahead might hold. These meetings keep us on the same page with our workload, but even more importantly they keep us connected to our mission and to our relationship. And good relationships move mountains, truly.

3. Take feedback with an open heart.

This is one of the toughest because we know that human beings inherently don’t like to take feedback. It makes us feel defensive, squishy, conflicted and embarrassed. But it’s also hugely important and not just for the person on the receiving end. Giving space to your boss to provide feedback can be one of the best things you do to foster a healthy working relationship. When I sense that my boss is about to give me a bit of advice, I try to breathe a little deeper and enter into the present moment more fully. That’s because I know that my automatic monkey-mind response is one of defense (thanks saber tooth tigers and prehistoric mammoths). But it’s essential to make sure that my boss feels heard because he’s trying to tell me something important and it’s not easy to be in his position, either.

And if we really think about it, other people can often see us better than we see ourselves and even the harshest feedback has at least a tiny bit of truth. I always try to mirror what my boss just said so that I’m sure I understand, and to show him that I’m appreciative of his willingness to speak up. Because truly what’s worse, getting a little feedback from someone who actually wants the best for you, or having a relationship where no one speaks up because they’re afraid of your response.

4. Conflict is (occasionally) a part of life.  

Just like feedback, conflict in the workplace can feel well, out of place. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard co-workers talk about a need to be positive, to see the opportunity in every situation and to stay upbeat. But I’m a gal who always wears her heart on her sleeve. It means that I’m passionate, direct, talkative and sensitive. Sometimes my feelings even get a little hurt. I used to walk away from every meeting where I said something a little negative or showed my true emotion and think, “I need to temper that side of myself.” In the words of Elsa from Frozen, “Conceal it, don’t feel it.”

But that isn’t realistic and it isn’t healthy either (you don’t want to freeze the whole office, do you?). You have a voice and a perspective and you’re allowed to have power, even with your boss. It doesn’t mean you should shout about a TPS Report until someone gives in, but it does mean that you shouldn’t be afraid to speak up or share an opposing viewpoint. My boss and I have passionate discussions that are always in the interest of moving our organization forward. And that’s why we get so much done.

I feel lucky and blessed to work in the environment that I do for the organization I’m in and I know that I exist in a place of privilege in this regard. But I also think that there’s potential for almost any manager-employee relationship to deepen over time when there’s mutual respect and a shared desire for moving the organization forward. Sometimes I can’t believe that I grew from a volunteer working five hours a month to the head of a major arts district. But then I remember that we (and I do mean we) worked really hard at it.